


no one knows what the future holds

by SilentApocalypse



Category: Love Live! School Idol Project, Love Live! Sunshine!!
Genre: Friendship, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-15
Updated: 2017-10-15
Packaged: 2019-01-17 15:48:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12368979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilentApocalypse/pseuds/SilentApocalypse
Summary: Mari, Kanan, and Dia all want what’s best for each other, but they can’t agree on what that is.(Or the founding, disbandment, and rejoining of Aqours by the third years.)





	no one knows what the future holds

**Author's Note:**

> The title comes from the first line of the Mijuku DREAMER chorus.

As a child, Mari struggles to find people she can be close with. Between being part foreign and being from a wealthy family, she always sticks out and others tend to treat her more as a curiosity than a real person. It isn’t until she meets Dia and Kanan that she makes her first real friends.

Dia is a worrier and practically worships rules and order. But she’s also passionate and reliable, devoting herself completely to the people she feels are deserving. Kanan is more open, always smiling and never hesitating to reach out and squeeze her friends into a tight hug. Both of them make Mari feel like she’s being truly seen for the first time.

In the back of her mind, Mari always wonders if she is really enough for them. She isn’t used to having people care about her, isn’t quite sure if she’s showing how much she cares in return in the right ways. When they enter high school and the other girls first present the idea of becoming school idols to her, she wonders if she’s going to hold them back. But something about the looks in their eyes tell her that they’re serious about this and serious about her trying it with them, and so she privately vows to put everything she has into the group.

Those days are bright, filled with hope and hard work. Being a school idol feels like the best thing that’s ever happened to her. Aqours is where she’s meant to belong, she just knows it, and she’s happier than she’s ever been before. They’re going places, maybe not quickly but steadily for sure. With Dia and Kanan by her side she feels like anything is possible.

Then it all falls apart and she can’t quite figure out why. Every time she finds herself wondering whether Dia and Kanan really cared about being school idols the way she did, she remembers that first day when they asked her and how utterly determined they were. But if it’s not that, she just doesn’t know why they would quit so easily after a single setback. The questions eat at her and Dia and Kanan refuse to give explanations. She feels like a child again, alone and adrift and unable to reach a mutual understanding with anyone around her.

With Aqours disbanded and her friends, family, and teachers all pressuring her to study abroad, she finally relents.

But even after she goes overseas, Mari can’t forget about school idols. She worries for Kanan and misses both her and Dia terribly, but there’s a sense of distance between them that’s more than just physical. Following the school idol scene online is the only way she’s able to feel connected to them in spite of everything. Yet none of the current groups really seem to shine in the way she’s looking for.

In the end, she keeps going back to μ's. They really did save their school, achieved the dream Dia and Kanan seemed to decide Aqours couldn’t. Mari studies their songs, their choreography, their costuming, everything she can. They were good in every area, that’s for certain, but when she compares them with the popular current school idol groups she can’t see any significant difference on a purely technical basis. If anything, standards for dancing, singing, and appearance have only increased over the years. There’s an intangible quality that makes μ's so special, and Mari wishes she could see what it was and know why Dia and Kanan were so sure they couldn’t ever have it.

She wants to show them they’re wrong. Aqours has what it takes if they don’t give up. She can feel it and she had thought they could too. Everything just seems wrong and no matter how prestigious her overseas school is she doesn’t love it the way she does Uranohoshi.

In Uchiura with Dia and Kanan at her side, she belonged. They knew her to the core, could tell when her jokes were only to cover sadness and fear, knew how to encourage her. Here she is once again the weird foreigner no one quite understands. She tries to explain school idols when she’s asked about her hobbies, but everyone she talks to looks either confused or uninterested.

Mari hears classmates refer to her in whispers as the strange Japanese girl. She has always been considered an outsider in Japan with her blonde hair calling attention to her half-foreign blood, but apparently she doesn’t quite fit here either. She ignores the gossip as well as she can, smiles like everything is great, and keeps up the positive attitude.

That’s all she is at that school, the foreign girl who doesn’t really seem to “get” anything but serves as enough of an amusement. She focuses on keeping her head above water and she works hard, both at school and her private idol research, for the full year she’s there.

***

Kanan is the responsible and caring one, never hesitating to rush to the aid of someone who needs it. She has been helping with her father’s diving shop since she could walk and she was the first to welcome Mari with quite literally open arms. When the trio runs into obstacles, she is usually the first to offer a smile and encourage them to keep going.

That’s why she’s the one who acts that day in Tokyo. She and Dia both see Mari shove her swollen foot into her boot, biting her lip in a feeble attempt to hide her obvious pain. They know in an instant they cannot let her perform and there’s absolutely no way they will go on without her. Mari shoots them a trembling smile when Dia fixes her with a worried stare.

Kanan loves both of them. But if it’s for Mari’s sake, she’ll torpedo their dream without hesitation. “I can’t,” she says suddenly. The tremble of emotion in her voice isn’t a lie. She hates that she’s doing this when they’re on the cusp of the chance they have dreamed of since Aqours was a half-formed idea in their heads. But for Mari’s future (a future where her foot isn’t permanently damaged, a future filled with more and better opportunities than the little seaside town of Uchiura could ever hold), she’ll do it.

“Kanan?” Mari whispers, sounding far more worried about those two words than she did about her injury. From behind her, Dia shoots Kanan a look that’s sad but also understanding and gives a barely perceptible nod.

“I can’t sing,” Kanan blurts, and she really isn’t sure she can. With Mari hurting herself both physically and metaphorically for the sake of their small-town aspirations, how can she? Guilt has been stalking her ever since she heard from Dia about what happened in the faculty office. This is her chance to set things right, back to the way they should be. Mari Ohara is a bright and shiny star who shouldn’t be dulled and dragged to the ground by her provincial friends.

But when Mari’s face crumples she almost wants to take it back. “What do you mean?” Her voice is rising with concern and some of the other groups are starting to stare.

Kanan shakes her head, backing away from the other two. Mari reaches a hand out, forgetting her injured foot and stumbling. Dia hurries to catch her, struggling to prevent a fall. Kanan finds herself whirling around and then she’s running and Mari is screaming her name after her. She doesn’t even consider turning back around.

Once she makes it into the hallway, she sinks to the floor and pulls her knees to her chest. It’s only a few brief moments before Mari hobbles out into the hall with a worried Dia at her side.

  
“I can’t do it,” Kanan mutters. After a moment, she adds, “I’m so sorry.” The feelings are genuine even though she’s not apologizing for what she’s doing. She’s sorry she dragged Mari into this and sorry she can’t find a more graceful way to do this.

But Mari kneels down and pulls Kanan into a hug. “I’m sorry, too,” she says quietly. “I didn’t notice you were scared. If it’s too much for you, we don’t have to do this. We’ll have other chances.”

Dia and Kanan both know it’s very much not the time to bring up studying abroad again, so they keep silent about it. Mari goes into overdrive on positivity for the future of Aqours on the long trip home, probably to make up for Kanan’s sudden lack of optimism, and neither of them have the heart to stop her.

Days later, Kanan regrets not speaking up on the train ride. Mari built up her hopes alone and Kanan is the one who has to knock them all down, systematically destroying every solution Mari presents. She hates the heartbroken look on her friend’s face, but still she puts everything she has into proving she’s given up entirely for the sake of Mari’s future. Even if it hurts at the moment, Mari will be grateful someday that she didn’t throw away her opportunities to study abroad for the sake of a school idol club at a tiny school in the middle of nowhere. Kanan has to believe that.

She keeps believing that all through the time Mari is gone, which is why she’s the angriest when their school’s new director turns out to be one Mari Ohara. Kanan stubbornly resists every offer and kindness Mari throws because if she gives in now, all the pain she put the other girl through would be for nothing. That can’t be true and if Mari gives up and leaves again it doesn’t have to be.

When the truth finally comes out and, with her cheek still stinging from Mari’s sharp slap, Kanan holds out her arms for a hug, she almost doesn’t expect Mari to accept. So much has changed since they were kids and she thinks she’s put the blonde through far to much to be forgiven so easily. When Mari jumps into her arms and starts sobbing, Kanan can’t help but let tears fall as well. It’s messed up, Kanan thinks, that they could cause so much heartache by simply trying to do what was best for each other.

But at least it’s not too late to try again.

***

Dia loves school idols more than anyone. It’s why Aqours is her idea to begin with. When she hears about the plans to close the school, her thoughts immediately go to μ's. She tells Kanan first, knowing she probably loves the town and school more than anyone else. They present the idea to Mari and suddenly it’s all real. Aqours is an actual group and they’re going to be real school idols who sing and dance just like the ones she and Ruby see in magazines and on live streams.

When Dia overhears Mari in the faculty office, she knows Mari can’t turn down her opportunities forever for the sake of trying to save a doomed school with a few dozen students. But she also knows she could never kill her dreams with her own hands. She runs to Kanan instead and lets the other girl take charge of the plan to disband Aqours and convince Mari to move forward.

Dia bears silent witness to the destruction, telling herself over and over it’s the right thing to do even though all she really wants to do is keep going. She wants more than anything for them to be happy, to not have to suffer, and she convinces herself this is the right thing to do. Mari will forget about Aqours soon enough, Kanan will be happy their friend is heading for a bright future, and Dia will find another way to save the school. It’s all for the best. It has to be.

It’s because Dia loves school idols so much that she feels the need to hate them. After their best efforts failed, it hurts to look at other girls smile and laugh in promotional pictures or videos. If she can’t look at a magazine of school idols without wanting to cry, then it’s easier to pretend they disgust her now. To stop herself from dwelling, she feels the need to destroy any trace of what she once cared so much about.

She forces herself to move onward, throwing herself into other ways to save the school. It’s easy to justify her desire to be student council president as taking a position expected of the daughter of a prominent local family, but deep down she knows it isn’t true. She still wants to achieve the dream the three of them shared as Aqours and, buried even further, she still wants to be like Eli, the girl she admires in spite of trying to force herself to forget everything related to school idols.

When Chika turns in her school idol club application, Dia ridicules her. If it were up to Dia she would never let a school idol group start at the school she attended, but it isn’t up to her. Mari’s sudden return as their new director means she can go over Dia’s head to issue a challenge to the new group.

Frankly, Dia expects them to give up. This club seems to be a whim to them considering they barely know basic facts about even the most famous school idol group out there. But as she watches over them, she sees the trio of second years are working surprisingly hard. In fact, she sees more than a little of the original Aqours in their hard work.

She doesn’t know if they can succeed and she still feels uneasy, but when she overhears them discussing names while she peeks in on a beachside practice she can’t help herself. She scrawls “Aqours” in the sand before dashing away. Maybe they’ll still fail, but if there’s a chance, however small, they can save the school, then it doesn’t feel right for them to have any other name.

The day of their performance comes. Dia can claim she only dragged the generators out because she wanted them to succeed or fail on their own merits, not the whims of the weather, but she knows in her heart she’s already rooting for them. Though she doesn’t think they fully grasp the harsh reality of how difficult it is to be a school idol in a rural area, they’re determined. (And though she’s not about to tell them, she’s watched videos of many debut performances and theirs ranks highly on her personal list.)

By the time Ruby says she wants to join, Dia can’t resist. She still refuses to involve herself personally, not when Kanan and Mari still have so many things unsaid about their group’s messy breakup, but she’s willing to quietly support both their group and her sister from a distance. It’s frightening knowing her little sister might see how hard being a school idol really is and have to reevaluate her feelings for them, but at the same time she knows how difficult hiding her true feelings is and she isn’t about to force that painful role on Ruby.

Dia makes sure she’s there when the bus returns from Tokyo. At first she thinks they may have fared much better than her own disastrous trip, but then Ruby bursts into tears and dives into her arms. The new Aqours is frustrated and defeated, but as she listens she realizes the aren’t giving up.

Finally, she decides they’re ready. This group has been through so much and is prepared to weather the storm. Mari and Kanan deserve closure and the six new school idols of Uranohoshi are just the people to deliver it to them.

When it’s all settled and feelings that were bottled for two long years are finally released, Dia thinks her job is done. She can finally close the door on her turbulent relationship with school idols and step into the future. She almost manages to convince herself she’s happy with that outcome when Ruby presents Dia with the old costume and welcomes her to Aqours.

Dia protests mostly on instinct, still trying to avoid school idols after carrying painful memories for two years. But the past has finally been put to rest and she, Mari, and Kanan finally understand the kindness and good intentions that led to their mistakes. If Kanan and Mari are ready to start again, then she wants to do it alongside them.

It’s not until that moment when Dia accepts the costume that she realizes this was what she wanted the day she scribbled “Aqours” onto the beach. She hadn’t dared to let herself acknowledge the thought, but no matter how much she denied it she always wished the three of them could come together again under that name.

***

It’s late at night after the first performance of Aqours with the full nine members. The third years sit together on the dock by Mari’s house watching the waves and enjoying the pleasant sea breeze.

“I knew it was you who gave them the idea for their name, too,” Mari says, elbowing Dia. Her target lets out a surprisingly undignified shriek, making Kanan burst into a fit of giggles. “Aqours isn’t exactly a common enough name for them to choose without some outside influence, you know.”

Dia simply folds her arms, trying to retain some semblance of dignity. Kanan settles down but her eyes still sparkle with amusement. “You told me again and again you weren’t on board with it, but I could see it in your eyes. You were worried, especially about your little sister after she joined, but more than anything you wanted them to succeed.”

“Well,” Dia sniffs, “if Uranohoshi was going to have school idols while we were still attending, it only seemed right. We promised back then Aqours would save the school, so I thought they should carry on the name if they shared that dream. And besides, no matter how slim the chances may have been that we would join together, it was still possible. I wouldn’t want to perform with the two of you under any other name.”

“Aww, Dia!” Mari squeals, wrapping her arms around her friend tightly.

A small, fond smile crosses Kanan’s face. “I missed you guys,” she admits.

Mari’s grin widens as she reaches out her arms and pulls Kanan into the hug.

“Stop it, we’re going to fall in!” Dia protests, but Mari just laughs.

“Come on, you have pajamas right inside to change into. Is it really that big of a deal if you get a little wet?”

“Sleepovers aren’t an excuse to get my clothes soaked,” she grumbles. Mari relents, but even after letting go she can’t help but smile, kicking her legs as she stares up at the star-speckled sky.

“Actually, I was hoping all along things would work out this way,” Dia admits. “But I didn’t think it would actually happen. It still doesn’t feel real.”

Mari grins wickedly, slowly reaching towards Dia’s cheeks. “Need a pinch?”

Dia snorts. “If you’re offering then I already know this isn’t a dream.”

“It took too much work to get here for it to be a dream,” Kanan says. “But it might be better that way. It wouldn’t be satisfying if it was easy, right?”

“We all know it’s hard to be school idols.” Mari’s voice is soft as she looks up wistfully.

“And we’re going to keep working hard,” Dia says, leaping to her feet and crossing her arms. “So if we’re going to make morning practice tomorrow, we need to go to bed.”

As their laughter fills the air, they walk across the beach towards Mari’s house hand in hand.


End file.
